the curse of choice

People still ask me why I chose bioeng over law, PUB over astar et cetera, and I always give the same answer. Given the circumstances, it was a matter of choosing the least of the evils. In the absence of expectations from parents and society, I would choose none of the above; instead I'd probably enrol in Laselle and pursue a career in illustration. Or, like Jerick, enrol in music school and become a session guitarist/form a band and keep doing gigs. or if nothing else become a chef (eh stop laughing. yes you there.)

So why not? - that's what my non-singaporean friends ask me. The Singaporeans understand better - simply because this is Singapore where societal and parental expectations matter. A lot. when I spoke to daniel sassoon a couple years back (electrico's guitarist) I realised that he was practising law outside of Electrico. Then sometime last year he announced that he was leaving the band to concentrate on his career. That is indeed a slice of reality, Singapore-style. It's no place for dreamers, unless your dreams happen to have something to do with law or medicine, in which case I say you are very, very lucky.

So I actually resigned myself to this reality sometime back. I put myself in my parents' shoes and imagined what it was that would make them proud, in the process applying for every darn thing under the sun. In the end it was down to three major choices - NUS law, A*star/Imperial biomed sci or PUB/bioeng. Law was something I applied for on a whim. Very self-indulgent I know. But I actually toyed with the idea for a while before finally deciding that I'd prefer something sciencey. A*star or PUB. I liked PUB's working environment, very warm very friendly. Very family-friendly working hours too, I heard. Excellent. More time to pursue my uh..-dreams- on the sidelines.

I allow a bit of doubt to creep in every now and then. But it's always natural to wonder about the what-could-have-beens I suppose. What would I be doing if I were in A*star now? Pretty much the same actually, except that I'd be worrying about my phd applications. UK universities are notorious for their recommendations. If I were in law? I haven't the foggiest. The friends I made at Law Camp are so distant now.

Easter hols begin today! The calm before the storm or waiting for the shoe to drop or whatchamacalit. I want to go out and do something.