there is a place called zouk on a day called wednesday

Not another delayed post. busy lah


So basically after work on Wednesday I went for tuition (during which I was already pretty drained, after a day of mundane lab work) and straight after that headed for Zouk. On the way there I saw this girl with a short dress and hot pink stockings smiling to herself as her eyes darted from side to side. After establishing in mind the fact that she was probably mildly psychotic, I also wondered whether she too was headed for the clubs. She got off at City Hall, so I didn't think so.

- and later on the dancefloor, guess who was gyrating on the pedestal? Small world. Anyways we had Long Island ice tea and danced the whole night away to decidedly mediocre music. The usual Mambo fare had been diluted by a selection of trance and techno and rock. It's on nights like these that those who claim to club for the music must've been sorely disappointed.

Which brings us to the topic of - why do we club? After all what is a club but a stupid empty room with a bar and a sound system. I always marvel at people who can say "I go there for the music" with a straight face. We go there cos of the people, to see and be seen, full stop.

Overall one of the better nights I've had at a club, hoping for more to come. Ian and I spent the rest of the night at Sean's house, which was pretty memorable in itself. I'd gone totally unprepared for a sleepover, so it was improvisation galore. Thanks Sean for the hospitality!

The next day was a pain to get through though. Zombified my way through the day, managing to kill every last cell I ventured to grow. Oh well

Singapore to host first Youth Olympics

I feel so proud! haha XD

fun with visual kei

After watching the Death Note Spinoff: L Change the World (yes that's the full title stated on the GV screen) sneaks, I got rather inspired to try the Japanese "Visual Kei" style makeup for a bit. (That and the fact that I was itching to try face paint after seeing Jacq have a field day with em) Visual Kei is the kind of look J-rock singers wear to make all the guys look prettier than girls.

So the next day I dragged my sis and Fenglei down to Marina Square to stock up on the bare essentials: foundation, liquid eyeliner, mascara and eyebrow pencil. We all then went down to Fenglei's place to play a bit.


My sis is quite a natural at this. But I of course cheated by cranking up the brightness and contrast in Photoshop, but that's cos we couldn't find a white enough foundation.

Anyways, about the movie. It definitely wasn't as good as the first two, which is actually a good thing because I wouldn't want to see the original plot get overshadowed by the spin-off. That rarely happens anyway. It delivered the L fanservice exceedingly well though - they made him do everything we'd want to see him do: run, look exhausted, babysit, stand up straight etc.

what is love?

Thought I could start doing cell cultures today but seems like I'll have to wait till tomorrow cos the cells aren't ready. As a result, I'm stuck in a room with UV radiation-risk and laser hazard labels all over with nothing to do but to read scientific literature. And when I'm not reading I'm mulling over Valentine's Day and love. I mean, it's been all hyped up in the media and stuff..how not to think about it?

Every year I get slightly miffed about the way Valentine's Day is overhyped and commercialised, the same way I feel about Christmas. I mean, it makes good business sense to take advantage of people overeager to impress their partners, and I understand that, but I shall take the moral high ground and say that all the hype trivialises love. Moreover there is a certain group of people who are being done a great disservice every February 14th - singles. And Valentine's Day is, paradoxically, infinitely more effective in making members of the Lonely Hearts Club more depressed than inspiring couples to celebrate their love. I guarantee.

What then is love and why does it hurt so much to be in love sometimes. I think we have it confused with other things way too often, and that's when it hurts. Love is freedom, and does not involve need in any way. Once all these needs are generated and not fulfilled there is hurt.

That big hole inside us can only be filled by realising that we are already everything we need. What hurts is not love itself but the lies we choose to believe - lies that love of another is what makes one complete. That's not true - we are all born complete, and another person is only there to help you enjoy it.

my doctor gave me the finger

Nowadays when I try out the more intensive guitar speed-building exercises my little finger starts to hurt. It's definite baggage left over from my broken finger in '05. Which then reminded me that I still had the x-ray films with me, so I pulled them out and took a bunch of pictures:

first x-ray after going NUH

inserted 5 k-wires to hold bone fragments in place

I still think it's a miracle that I managed to get my range-of-motion back. Thank goodness. But I definitely can't stretch as far across the fretboard as I used to.

irony is...

..when I blog in Blogspot right after expounding my views over on LJ why LJ is so much better. Both have their good points I guess, so maybe I shall henceforth practise dual-blogging.

Or maybe not, seeing as my 5-month attachment commences TOMORROW! no time liaoxx hahaz.

Come my friend, to fate let's raise
Two finger shots at this our last soiree
For tomorrow I fear
Swoops all too deadly near

I changed my blog header, as you can probably see. Looks tacky, I know, and yes I preferred the old one too, but for now I need something different.

I'm really beginning to wonder how I'm going to pass time in the IBN laboratories. Those who have gone for research attachments all agree it's kinda boring, and that's what I fear most. I'd rather have my hands full, because I perform best when I'm stressed/high-strung. I also need to keep busy to take my mind off some stuff. Anyhow, juggling work and tuition is going to be tough. It's times like these- when I have so little time left to myself - that I truly relish every second of free time, and I like that. I've been too free for my own good for two years - time to get down to some work! My goal at the end of five months is to, at the very least, impress my mentor. The other end of the spectrum involves a Nobel Prize or two, but let's not go into that yet.

Happy CNY!

Chinese New Year turned out to be pretty pleasant. Got up at 6.30 at my parents' request to go help them queue for free abalone at Carrefour. Singaporeans never cease to amaze me (I amaze myself sometimes). Anyhow it went like this - one had to buy $16.80 worth of goods, take the receipt and go queue for the abalone. As you can imagine, all sorts of wonderful ploys surfaced: 1. queue cutting..It's amazing how people can just cut in nonchalantly. 2. barging into carrefour before the store opened, essentially forcing them to open for business 3. having a representative of sorts queue for the abalone while sending a whole army into the store to each purchase $16.80 worth of goods.

In the afternoon Fenglei and Wenhui came over for lunch and a spot of gambling before we all went down to River Hongbao. It's exactly the same as in previous years, save for maybe the animal of the year. No creativity lah these guys. Tsk.

Evening. Went to watch Sweeney Todd with Jacq and I really must say I think that was the best movie of 2008 so far. Which is not saying much, considering we're something like 40 days into the year but still. it's the movie to beat. I loved the sets and the soundtrack and the whole morbidity of it all.

We also discovered this book fair where everything was going for $5. I intend to go back there today to dig up some stuff. I decline to disclose the location of said bookfair because if I did everyone would rush for the books and I'd have nothing left. So nerr.

Oh yesterday I also managed to set up a new slipshod recording rig following the demise of my old comp. It's not much but I trust it'll do the trick:

..not that I'll actually have the TIME to do any recording now that I'm tied down to that IBN thing. Better not be a waste of time!

bittersweet

Alright it's final - I'll be attached at the IBN till end June, which means I can't travel anymore. It's my fault really, for forgetting all about my family's travel plans when I negotiated the contract with the Director. Something I'll have to live with I suppose.

On a brighter note, I am really quite stoked over the kind of things I'll get to do. My aim will basically be to learn as much as possible and meet lots of professionals in the field.

I am attached

..to the Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotechnology (IBN), to be precise. Yup I sold my soul to the IBN today, and will be doing experiments on haemodialysis till end June (but I hope to finish end May). No more stints in F&B, no more mercenary @#$%^&**** tuition centres, just good ol' research.

I'll be working 830 to 6, and based on my calculations today I should be able to get to City Hall by 630 after work, so my social life hasn't gone entirely out of the window. At least I hope not!

Had a chat with Dr Tergaonkar from IMCB yesterday. The theme was basically the amount of time needed in his kind of research, and whether Singapore was willing/able to afford that sort of time.

He remarked that research in the biological sciences is different from Physics or Chem research due to the nature of biological systems. You can use test subjects such as mice for a model of what happens in the human body, occurring over a significantly shorter time scale, but it still takes time for, say, tumour growth in a mouse's body. The result - long hours in the laboratory with certainly no guarantee of whether or not the current research would reap rewards (and not much pay to show for it either).

And so it seems that researchers live only for that one eureka moment, and that's the only thing keeping them going. 3 to 5 years of work for one 5-page research paper. It's beginning to sound a lot like being a doctor, but I should reserve my judgment for now. Go for one of these attachments first, then decide. He also addressed my concerns over Singapore's research climate - the government support, proximity from research centres and ease of obtaining raw materials. He seemed genuinely impressed with the Biopolis, given Singapore's limited resources. At the same time, he expressed concern over the kind of scientists that come out of Singapore's education system, or even the kind of people at the top for that matter - that we're all results-oriented and seeking quick, if not instant gratification. When I asked him whether Singapore was willing to give its scientists that kind of support, he merely remarked that it was too early to tell - the Biopolis was but 5 years old - adding that he had trust in the scientific advisory body. But my concern still remains - will the people at the helm actually listen?

I also dropped by at the Learning Lab yesterday to enquire about the status of my internship application. The reply I was met with: "Did your friend tell you the proper way to go about doing this?" Way to go learning lab. I go all the way there just to get this crap. A classic example of a money-making venture that got too much success for its own good.

waiting for the shoe to drop

I've applied for so many jobs it's just insane. First, the 20-odd schools I've emailed - they might need a relief teacher any time and call me up. Then again, what are the chances? Second, the Learning Lab, which is irritating the heck out of me cos they claim to need more interns but isn't getting back to me. Third, the UOB job the NSman promised me. Fourth, the IBN Youth Research Programme. Fifth, lab assistant at IMCB. Sixth, waitering at Oasis Restaurant & Bar. Seventh, Cambridge Institute. And that's not counting all the retail outlets I left my name with and if they get back to me I really really want those too. There are so many things I want to do but somehow or other - it's just not happening for me and I end up bumming around at home.

Anyway, went for the OIC Portrait Day yesterday. I spent a good one hour plus looking for a sketchbook to buy, only to come back and have a kind soul donate his to me. Anyway I gave my drawings away for free. And met these 3 ex-TPJC students (same batch). Had a lot of fun, but I think I need more stamina.



edit: for those of you who have at one time or another asked me what type of girl I go for, this girl pretty much fits the bill: